My Life in Care - the Truth: Part 3

The first night we spent at Kat's - my sister and I argued while alone in our room. She blamed me for her being moved from the temporary place she was being housed while I (rightfully) blamed her for me being moved from the home that I had known for the vast majority of my life. Back then, I was the sort of person that despised change - and moving into a strangers house with her own children was the biggest change I'd faced in over 10 years!

Kat was lovely though. She understood that it was hard for us to live with strangers, especially since we had no clue how long we would stay.

The longer we stayed with Kat and her children (who were fairly close to our age) the more we came to realise that the rules that we obeyed at Agatha's and Rupert's were unusual and harsh. We often shocked anyone that would hear us talk of our lives with them - and in this new 'temporary' family we started to experience lives of 'normal' teenage girls. I discovered skills that I never knew I had and took part in things that I never had the opportunity to before. It was as if I had been reborn...slightly...

Unfortunately, old habits die hard meaning I still had the teachings of Agatha and Rupert ingrained in my mind.

For example, when I lived with them and we went shopping, I had to stick by them like glue. Kat quickly started to encourage me to venture and have a look for anything for myself. It took me a while to get it though. At first I would just slowly walk round a rail before returning to her side...but then she'd send me off again! And slowly, but surely, I'd stay away longer while properly looking at items and I'd venture further.

Some might say that it was only a minor achievement but for me it was monumental! Just to shake an old habit out of my head and think for myself.

A few months passed with Kat, I was becoming better in my new life but there was something that was still holding me back...my big sister.

Even before we moved to Kat's, my sister had always wanted to be better than me and control me. She continued to treat me as though I was her lackey, her servant. Even if it was something like going to get her a drink or moving to let her sit down where I was. I'd obey though. Because in my eyes, she was my big sister who I wanted to make like me...don't ask me why because I have no clue myself.

More time passed and my sister started to become distant again, we'd constantly argue and have spats. She started getting into contact with her father (I have a different dad than my brother and sister), I believe that he started to influence her - she wanted to go back to Ireland to live with her dad and his family. She decided that the only way to get what she wanted was to get away from Kat - so she did what she does best...she lied.

For the second time in the space of 6 months she accused someone of assaulting her, she accused Kat of being abusive.

The police saw straight through her lies.

And she was moved, which was good for me because I didn't have to deal with a mentally "abusive" sister. I was completely free of her enslaving me.

I had been with Kat 1 year when I decided that I didn't want to be moved from her. We went to panel (which was basically a big meeting of social workers and managing social workers etc) to convince them that I would benefit more by staying with my new family.

It went successfully and my new life could start properly without the worry of where I would end up.

I've been living with Kat and my new siblings for 5 years now and I wouldn't change a thing.

End of part 3